the hits, misses, rants and raves that constitute my life
8/4/98: I had to go to the opthalmologist yesterday and they were positively shocked that I balked at them poking my naked eyeballs to test for glaucoma. I just came in to see about what I thought was a sty in my eye and they start right away with the poking. One guy is holding the back of my head against this forehead clamp, one guy is just standing there smirking (some resident flunky type) and one guy is operating the big blue eyeball poker. I told them I would rather go blind from glaucoma than go through this, and that I would agree to sign a document releasing them from any liability should I, in fact, have glaucoma, but they insisted.
Look, I know they have to do it but the level of amazement they expressed that I would be slightly discomforted by things touching my eyes was a little ridiculous. Apparently every other patient just sits through it stoically and, they rather hope, enjoys it.
8/14/98: Mark informed me today that I am a "phone rat." He has coined this term to refer to a person who enjoys being on the phone too much/too long.
8/21/98: Went to dinner with an acquaintance of an acquaintance (which in itself should have been a warning) who I had never met, and found myself dressed for a ball with a man who was dressed for a ballgame. I wore a black outfit with 4" platforms and he wore chinos and a polo shirt. Anyone who's been in this situation (being overdressed) knows the horror of it. He's a great person, though, so we won't hold it against him.
8/25/98: My home page was "lost," so I had to redo the entire thing. Also, I think an insect crawled into my nasal cavity during the night, although I can't yet prove it.
8/27/98: I had lunch with Amaury (the acquaintance of a crony of a contact, if you know what I mean) and was quite impressed. He's cute, intelligent, funny and charming. I realize this sounds like an episode of Friends but I've quite had to revise my first impression.
9/8/98: I had the most incredible weekend with Amaury. He came over Friday night and just stayed through until Monday afternoon. He's so incredible that I'm pretty sure there are bodies hidden somewhere in his house, or some other similarly terrible secret he's hiding. Actually, he makes me so happy that I've decided I can deal with the bodies as long as I don't become one of them.
9/14/98: Another wonderful weekend with Amaury, the only man I know who is truly everything a man should be (in the author's humble opinion). Lucky, lucky me. He picked me up at the train station (by sort of skulking in the corner) after a business trip to New York. Having someone you love pick you up after an out-of-town trip is wonderful; I highly recommend it.
9/15/98: Kismet: The fulfillment of destiny. (Turkish, gismet, a lot.)
``The word kismet, which he scarcely comprehended before, seems now to be fraught with ... [meaning]. This is kismet; this is the fulfillment of destiny; this is to love.'' -- Nineteenth Century, February, 1892, p. 209.
10/26/98: Amaury and I had a quiet dinner at his house to celebrate my birthday (10/22), and his gifts were both thoughtful and generous. Being 28 isn't any sort of important milestone, so I'm not really traumatized in any way; I would ascribe my general malaise to the change in seasons and a lack of sleep.
10/1/98: I'm getting sick and goddamn tired of people on the fucking subway.
10/30/98: My friend Jill came to visit and so far has caused one bug to materialize on my bedroom ceiling, one bug on my living room ceiling, and one bee to zoom through my hair on the way out of the house. This, in addition to her propensity for Walker, Texas Ranger, is making for an interesting weekend
11/3/98: Folks, I met the Governor of Maryland last night at the subway, coming home from work. I was walking out of the foyer at the subway stop, when I saw about twenty people with placards and heard some guy yelling at the top of his lungs, "Meet Governor Glendening! Meet the Governor of Maryland!" I walked 3 or 4 steps and there he was. He shakes my hand and for some reason, I blurted out "I voted for you!" This statement earned me an additional hand over mine and something to the effect of, "Thanks very much." So, mock me all you want, it was exciting.
11/17/98: I'm not sure when it became accepted that people who went to law school deserve to be treated with more dignity and respect , but it's standard practice at every law firm I've ever worked. The thing that kills me is that there's pretty much a hierarchy at play: "legal assistants" (pseudo-paralegal yo-yos making $20K a year and acting fly) come after attorneys in the game, and we (support staff) come last. People will make the most smart-ass, condescending remarks to non-lawyers--things they would never say to an attorney--and it's completely acceptable and acknowledged. I mentioned this to Amaury (because of an incident at work with one particular little snot today) and he said that's pretty much America for you. I agree, but I don't think we should accept this: going to law school (or college, or whatever) does not make anyone better than anyone else.
12/11/98: I seem to be back in the world again. Amaury is stressed out over finals but he'll be done next week and we'll be ready to party. I'm not pregnant and that's always good news!
12/21/98: I had lunch with Matt, a coworker from my prior firm. He's one of the nicest guys I know, notwithstanding a penchant for purchasing third-world items produced off the backs of child laborers in India.
12/22/98: I forgot to mention that last week, at our firm's Christmas party, I was offered a job dancing with the entertainment troupe that performed. I was handed a business card as I was putting my coat on and made this offer. I called yesterday and found out that it pays about $100 for a 4-5 hour party; I wouldn't necessarily mind the exercise and the kitsch, but I don't feel like going to rehearsals and all that stuff. Still, it was pretty flattering, and the woman was quite nice.
